Farming has taught me a lot about being a mom. Cattle are excellent teachers, if one just pays attention.
Life is much the same, even across species.
1. Protect your baby, and be willing to help other moms protect theirs.
When a calf is in perceived distress, they all go into protection mode. They don’t stand back, watch the momma, and shake their heads in disgust that her baby is in trouble. Instead, they all come running to rescue that baby. They’re a team.
2. It’s okay to let others babysit for you.
Speaking of teamwork. After the babies have grown a bit, they start to wander away from their own momma. They begin to notice the other calves and chase each other around the pasture. Sometimes they all stick together with one or two mommas while the others rest.
Not all will, but some cows will even feed another’s calf. They keep an eye on them.
Those are the best moms. They help each other.
3. Sometimes the calves get outside the fence. Holler for them until they come back, then stop hollering when they do.
No matter how tight the Farmer keeps the fences or how beautiful the grass is on the inside of the fence, the calves want out. They stand knee deep in luscious grass and still stretch their necks through to reach what’s on the other side.
Sometimes they even brave the barbed wire or the electric fence. They’re willing to risk a scratch or a jolt to get to the other side. Sometimes they outsmart both and just jump right over.
They don’t care about boundaries, because they want what’s on the other side that much…or at least they think they do.
The momma cows pace the fence and bellow for their babies. When the babies get hungry, they come back. When they come back, the bellowing stops and the baby is welcomed back. Mom doesn’t continue to nag.
4. Appearance doesn’t matter.
Cows are just cows. They don’t care what color the other cows are, how many holes are in the others ears, or what markings are on the other’s body or face. They’re all part of the herd. They all have a place at the trough.
5. Leading is better than prodding.
Our cows are bucket-trained. We feed them hay daily, but they also get buckets of ground corn or sweet feed, too. When they hear the handle click on the side of that bucket and a hearty “Swook, cow. Come on, girls!” they come running.
That’s a handy trick when it comes time to corral them for care or to take a few to market. They scatter when they’re poked and prodded from behind, but they walk right alongside when being led.
Kids are the same way. They respond better to leading than poking.
6. Hold on loosely. Nothing is forever.
Momma cows know everything about their baby. Their smell, their sound, everything. They can pick their baby out of the herd with no hesitation. But they’ve learned that they don’t stay forever.
The first time we went to the market as farm owners, I cried. I spend time with those babies. Just like those momma cows I know their temperment, their markings, and their habits. Some are friendly and others shy. Some are gentle and others rambunctious.
Knowing that they are leaving our farm is difficult. I want to keep them all.
I have learned that our farm isn’t large enough to sustain every animal forever. Resources don’t stretch that far. Our barns aren’t that big nor our hay crop that plentiful.
I love them while they’re ours, but I let go when it’s their time to leave. I don’t get to keep them forever.
7. Keep an eye on the outsiders. They don’t love your babies like you do.
Momma cows aren’t very trusting of other critters. They come to love and trust us as their farmer, but they will always keep an eye on us. I keep an eye on their babies, too, when it’s stock yard day.
When we reach the stock yard, I exit the truck when the calves exit the trailer. I run up the stairs to the catwalk so I can locate their designated pens.
I watch those handlers like a hawk, so they know not to poke and prod my babies unnecessarily. I study them as they walk across the scales and are measured. I shudder at the sound of their bawling when they can’t find their mom. I long to yell down to them, “Don’t worry, my sweet baby, I’m right here!” I long to bring them back home. I choke back tears when it’s time to leave.
Stock yard days are the worst.
This is exactly what it felt like when I dropped my kids off at college. Exactly.
8. Enjoy the dailiness. Don’t look too far ahead.
Cows just take care of today. They don’t worry about what they will eat tomorrow, they don’t worry about where their calf is going beyond this moment.
Grazing on the tuft of grass in front of them, they stay within the boundaries, keep an eye on their baby and their bull, and don’t fret over tomorrow. They watch their baby grow and enjoy the day. They don’t fret over the day it will leave them. They deal with that when the time comes.
They’ll pace up and down that fence for a few days bellowing. Longing for the summer days of grassy fields and little cloven feet that frolicked around them. Then they will go on about their business, eating the tuft of grass in front of them.
They wait for the next season, because they know another one is just around the corner. It always is…
just like it is for a mom.
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